How to Be Truly Generous: 9 Things Genuinely Kind People Always Do | Inc.com
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How to Be Truly Generous: 9 Things Genuinely Kind People Always Do | Inc.com
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Think about someone you genuinely respect. Think about someone you truly admire. Think about someone you love to be around. She may not be rich. He may not be highly accomplished. She may not be a household name.
Yet you love to be around her–and you would love to be more like her. What sets her apart from everyone else?
She’s generous, without expectation of return. She’s generous because a big chunk of her happiness–and success–comes from helping other people be happy and successful.
Here’s what sets generous people apart:
1. They’re generous with praise.
Everyone, even relatively poor performers, does something well. That’s why everyone deserves praise and appreciation. It’s easy for most of us to recognize great employees; after all, they do great things. (Of course it’s very possible that consistent praise is one of the reasons they’ve become great.)
Relatively few of us work hard to find reasons to praise the person who simply meets standards. The people who do know that a few words of recognition–especially when that recognition is publicly given–could just be the nudge that inspires an average performer to become a great performer.
Generous people can often see the good in another person before that person sees it in herself, providing a spark that just might help her reach her true potential.
2. They’re generous with patience.
For some people, we’re willing to give our all. Why? They care about us, they believe in us, and we don’t want to let them down. Showing patience is an extraordinary way to let people know we truly care about them. Showing patience and expressing genuine confidence is an extraordinary way to let people know we truly believe in them.
Showing patience is an extremely generous thing to do, because it shows how much you care.
3. They’re generous with privacy.
Everyone shares. Everyone likes and tweets. Lives have increasingly become open books. Gradually, we’ve started to feel we have a right to know more about others than we ever did.
Sometimes, we don’t need to know. Often, we don’t have a right to know. Often the best gift we can give is the gift of privacy, of not asking, not prying–yet always being available if and when another person does want or need to share.
Generous people are willing to not only respect another person’s privacy but also to help someone guard it–because they know it’s not necessary to know in order to care.
4. They’re generous with opportunities.
Every job has the potential to lead to greater things. Every person has the potential, both professionally and personally, to accomplish greater things.
Generous bosses take the time to develop employees for the job they someday hope to land, even if that job is with another company. Generous people take the time to help another person find and seize opportunities.
Many people have the ability to feel someone else’s pain and help the person work through it. A few, a special few, have the ability to feel someone else’s dreams and help the person work toward them–and to help open doors that might otherwise have remained closed.
5. They’re generous with the truth.
Lip service is easy to pay. Professionalism is easy to display. Much more rare are people who can be highly professional yet also openly human. They’re willing to show sincere excitement when things go well. They’re willing to show sincere appreciation for hard work and extra effort. They’re wiling to show sincere disappointment–not in others, though, but in themselves.
They openly celebrate. They openly empathize. They openly worry.
In short, they’re openly human. They blend professionalism with a healthy dose of humanity–and, more important, allow other people to do the same.
6. They’re generous with tough love.
I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. We all want to be better than we are. Yet we all fall into habits, fall into patterns, and develop blind spots, so we all need constructive feedback.
And that’s why sometimes we all need a swift kick in the pants. It’s relatively easy to provide feedback during evaluations. It’s relatively easy to make one-off comments. It’s a lot tougher to sit someone down and say, “I know you’re capable of a lot more.”
Think about a time when someone told you what you least wanted to hear yet most needed to hear. You’ve never forgotten what the person said. It changed your life.
Now go change someone else’s life.
7. They’re generous with independence.
There is almost always a best practice, so most leaders implement and enforce processes and procedures.
For employees, though, engagement and satisfaction are largely based on autonomy and independence. You care the most when it’s “yours.” You care the most when you feel you have the responsibility and authority to do what is right.
That’s why generous people create standards and guidelines but then give employees the autonomy and independence to work the way they work best within those guidelines. They allow employees to turn “have to” into “want to,” which transforms what was just work into something much more meaningful: an outward expression of each person’s unique skills, talents, and experiences.
8. They’re generous with respect.
Some employees aren’t outstanding. Some are far from it. They aren’t as smart. They don’t work as hard. They make bigger mistakes. (Some employees ultimately deserve to be let go.)
Still, regardless of their level of performance, all employees deserve to be treated with respect. Sarcasm, eye rolling, and biting comments all chip away at a person’s self-respect.
It takes true generosity to allow others to maintain a sense of dignity even in the worst of circumstances.
After all, I may have to fire you, but I never, ever have to demean or humiliate you.
9. They’re generous with their sense of purpose.
Fulfillment is often found in becoming a part of something bigger. We all love to feel that special sense of teamwork and togetherness that turns a task into a quest, a group of individuals into a real team.
Anyone can write mission statements. Much tougher is creating a mission that makes a real impact. Even tougher is showing other people how what they do affects their customers, their business, their community, and themselves.
Give the gift of caring–and the gift of knowing why to care.
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Wine lover’s guide to the Languedoc
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Home to diverse scenery and cultural riches, not to mention outstanding food and wine, this southern French region offers tourists a wealth of options, says Natasha Hughes MW…
For many Brits, the south of France means Provence, but wine lovers know that there’s another south – one that may not boast as many celebrities and film festivals, but which repays visitors with apparently endless diversity. The Languedoc is a region of stunning landscapes, from rugged hills to golden beaches and snow-capped mountains. This is a land of great cultural richness, a place where the sun shines for 300 days a year, and where good food and good wine are considered an essential part of everyday life.
On paper, the various viticultural regions of the Languedoc look as if they’re not situated that far apart from each other. Appearances can be deceptive, however, and the narrow roads that criss-cross the region switchback over very hilly terrain. As a result, the drive from one producer to another usually affords breathtaking views, but can take far longer than you might expect.
To make the most of your Languedoc trip, base yourself as near as possible to the producers you’re hoping to visit – that way you can spend your time sampling wine rather than driving your hire car. Domaine de Verchant, located just outside Montpellier, makes a good base from which to explore the vineyards of the northern Languedoc. It’s a fairly short drive to the appellations of Terrasses du Larzac and Pic-St-Loup, as well as the scenic IGP vineyards around the stunning hilltop town of St-Guilhem-le- Désert. The domaine’s historic building, part of which dates back to the 14th century, has been stylishly modernised, and there’s even a large spa where you can wind down after a hard day’s tasting. The hotel’s in-house restaurant offers a modern take on classic French ingredients.
If you fancy something less formal, l’Artichaut is a small bistro in Montpellier’s historic centre with plenty of Gallic charm, and a well-thought-out wine list.
The town of Béziers is strategically situated near inland appellations such as St-Chinian and Faugères, as well as the coastal zones of Picpoul de Pinet and the IGPs of the Côtes de Thau and the Côtes de Thongue, among others. Many of Béziers’ splendid townhouses have been renovated, one of which is now a sophisticated boutique hotel, L’Hotel Particulier. It houses its guests in airy, whitewashed rooms, and the small swimming pool in its pretty garden is particularly welcome on hot summer days.
It’s a short stroll from the hotel to Le Chameau Ivre (+33 (0)4 67 80 20 20), a convivial wine bar well stocked with bottles from local producers. The ideal spot for a casual evening of nibbling and sipping, it offers a good selection of wines by the glass and a terrific range of local charcuterie. A more elaborate meal can be enjoyed at much-fêted
Restaurant Octopus, where Michelin-starred chef Fabien Lefebvre creates elegant dishes from seasonal ingredients. The wines live up to the calibre of the food, too.
It would be a shame to visit the south of France without spending at least some time by the coast, especially if you enjoy seafood. One of the best places to tuck into the local oysters is at Le Grand Bleu in Bouzigues. Strong on atmosphere and conviviality, this is the place to dive into a vast platter of shellfish or simply grilled fish fresh off the boat.
Damejane in Faugères is equally short on pretension and high in charm. A tiny space has been transformed into a small shop selling local honey, cheese and charcuterie, much of which dangles from the ceiling. A few tables are crammed in, so visitors can tuck into a simple, hearty lunch. The menu depends on what’s available, but food is always tasty and good value. The place owes its existence to lobbying by local winemakers, so it goes without saying that there are always interesting wines available to enjoy with your meal.
The logical place to base yourself if you want to explore the Minervois and Cabardès is somewhere in the vicinity of Carcassonne. I would advise against finding a hotel in the heart of Carcassonne itself, particularly during the middle of summer, when the streets are thronged with package tourists and every other shop appears to be trying to sell them twee Provençal knick-knacks. Instead the smart money is on a stay at La Bergerie, a simple but very pleasant hotel in a pretty village that lies to the north of the walled city. There’s a Michelin-starred restaurant on site, or you can brave the crowds and head into Carcassone for a cassoulet. If you’re hankering for a truly authentic cassoulet, though, you might be better off heading into St-Jean-de- Minervois, where L’Auberge de L’Ecole (+33 (0)4 67 38 16 16) gets rave reviews for its rendition of the local classic, as well as the warmth of its welcome.
If you find yourself in the Cabardès appellation at lunch or dinner time, head to Pennautier. Here the Lorgeril group owns both Château de Pennautier (worth a visit in its own right) and nearby Table du Château. The restaurant is housed in an old stone bergerie (sheepfold), and offers simple country food, which you can wash down with copious quantities of Lorgeril’s wines.
The area around Narbonne is a good base from which to explore both the Cathar heartland and the rugged countryside of the south. Wine lovers could base themselves at Gerard Bertrand’s Château de l’Hospitalet, whose recently renovated rooms overlook the vineyards. The on-site restaurant offers seasonal dishes based on local ingredients and an opportunity to taste through this producer’s extensive range.
To really spoil yourself, you’ll have to travel even further south. The luxury boutique hotel L’Auberge du Vieux Puits is situated in a tiny village nestled between Fitou and Corbières. Enjoy the stunning drive through wild countryside to reach the hotel, and then relax in one of the 14 rooms. Most are situated around the peaceful swimming pool, and all are decorated with elegant simplicity.
In the spacious dining room chef Gilles Goujon demonstrates the culinary pyrotechnics that won him three Michelin stars in 2010. The weighty wine list offers some of the very best bottles from across the Languedoc (as well as elsewhere in France).
You could spend many happy weeks following a trail of wine bars, restaurants and wineries from Montpellier in the north to the wilds of the Corbières in the south, or you could sample the region’s best one weekend at a time. Whichever way you decide to explore the area, you’ll be struck by the warmth of the welcome and the wildness of the landscape. All in all, the Languedoc offers a totally unique take on the south of France.
Natasha Hughes MW began her career as deputy editor of Decanter.com. She left the magazine in 2001 and has since worked as a freelance writer and consultant, specialising in wine and food.
The post Wine lover’s guide to the Languedoc appeared first on Decanter.
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May 13, 2016 at 03:07AM
What to Cook This Weekend – The New York Times
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Good morning. We’re stuck on a plane with the spottiest Internet connection we’ve had since dial-up days, sitting behind some fit-kid howdy boys talking loudly about protein shakes — and it doesn’t matter the least little bit because we’re heading home for a weekend of cast iron, peanut oil, buttermilk and orange soda. Fried chicken season has begun!
Won’t you join us? Thanks to Kim Severson, we’ve got the late, great Edna Lewis’s recipe for pan-fried chicken to share. It is an excellent place to begin your voyage into the fried chicken months of spring and summer for first-time fryers and veterans alike.
But it is not the only place. Those who thrill to Nashville-style hot chicken can turn to Melissa Clark’s great recipe for the version of that dish served at Peaches HotHouse in Brooklyn. (Spicy food not for you? Try my adaptation of a John Currence recipe for cola-brined fried chicken instead.) Or you might take a run at this very simple, deeply crunchy recipe for Brooklyn Bowl fried chicken, which Pete Wells reported on back in 2011.
Taking a wider view, you could make Julia Moskin’s awesomely good recipe for Persian fried chicken. Or her recipe for Korean fried chicken. Or her recipe for Filipino fried chicken. (Julia serves on the imaginary Seventh Committee of the United Nations General Assembly, devoted to the humanitarian pursuit of the world’s best fried chicken recipes.)
You could even cook chicken outdoors, as the wise John Willoughby advises — his recipe for fried chicken for a crowd is an invaluable member of our collection of favorites.
So that’s happening. And so is some coleslaw. And macaroni and cheese. (Maybe we’ll get really serious and make our recipe for lobster mac and cheese, which pairs with fried chicken like big rims on a classic 88.) We’ll heat some honey on the stove, scatter red pepper flakes into it, then serve it on the side with most every chicken on our list save Julia’s.
And maybe we’ll make some collards too, some biscuits and a grilled potato salad with chipotle bacon vinaigrette. Banana pudding for dessert? Yes, please.
What about you? Perhaps David Tanis’s recipe for mashed fava bean crostini is more your style come the weekend lull. Or maybe you’d prefer Martha Rose Shulman’s roasted vegetable bibimbap. Look, we love a springtime Greek salad as much as the next big eater — it’s just, this weekend, we’re in the tank for the chicken that is fried.
Browse Cooking for other ideas. Please save the recipes you want to cook into your recipe boxes, and rate the recipes you do cook when you’re done eating the food. Leave notes on recipes. Post pictures of them on social media, above the hashtag #NYTCooking. And if you find yourself in a jam or a pickle (it’s Friday the 13th, after all), please reach out for help: cookingcare@nytimes.com. Operators are standing by.
Now, did you read Jim Lynch’s “Truth Like the Sun” the way I told you to a few months ago? He has a new novel out, “Before the Wind,” that we’re going to crack open as soon as we get our chicken into the marinade tonight. See what you think.
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May 16, 2016 at 05:49PM
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